Teenager Arrested For Selling Lettuce to Desperate Vegans on Hove Street Corner

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A 19 year old from Brighton was arrested last night after being caught green fingered selling salad to what the police described as ‘desperate individuals’ on a street corner in Hove.

Paul Hayes, of London Road, was detained at 11.30pm after an anonymous tip off from the general public led the police to Grand Avenue where they discovered Mr Hayes ‘serving up’ to a large queue of vegans and health conscious Hove mums. A subsequent search of the suspect’s car revealed courgettes, aubergines and traces of broccoli.

Brighton’s large vegan population combined with the recent shortage of salad as a result of poor weather on the continent, has driven individuals to seek alternatives ways of getting their vegetable fix. Sgt Mike Wilcox of Sussex Police said, ‘This is becoming a big problem now. We believe a large amount of salad has been smuggled into the country from South America. The problem is that this stuff is not normal salad it is super strength stuff that has been grown specifically to get vunerable salad lovers hooked. We advise anyone who is offered any sort of veg to decline and to contact Sussex Police immediately’.

A Brighton resident who asked not to be named said she had noticed a worrying trend since the shortage, ‘Only the other day I was walking through The Level and I spotted four separate groups of youngsters all taking turns on an iceberg. It’s disgusting, kids use that park. Something needs to be done, Only yesterday I saw one woman absolutely off her mash on courgette and it was only 2pm’ she said.

Mr Hayes has now been formally charged and will face magistrates at Lewes Crown Court in March.

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50 thoughts on “Teenager Arrested For Selling Lettuce to Desperate Vegans on Hove Street Corner

      • This is crap – this is rubbish, this is a waste of ink and certainly not an April fools Joke as it aint April but this has got to be a joke as if otherwise, then we now know how dumb and stupid the law is and how the piolice waste their time and let real criminals get away with it ( the bankers ) and how innocent people are targeted for nothing at all. The poicture is also a stock picture of a drug dealer and not someone selling lettuce. Of all the craoppy reporting I have ever heard this is close to the most dumb.

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      • John – This is a joke. No Ink was wasted.
        Some of the lines that prove it is a joke are:
        “this stuff is not normal salad it is super strength stuff that has been grown specifically to get venerable salad lovers hooked.”
        “I was walking through The Level and I spotted four separate groups of youngsters all taking turns on an iceberg.”
        “Only yesterday I saw one woman absolutely off her mash on courgette”

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  1. At last, justice has been served. How did he expect to get away with it without having a (framed) food handling certificate on display? Lock him up!

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  2. I drove through there yesterday and saw them making pipes out of carrots and smoking sage through them.
    Some where even going as far as opening up tea bags for a stronger hit. PG Tips I think.

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  3. There are some evil people in this world. Always taking advantage of somebody else’s misery. Feeling so blessed not to be a vegan.

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  4. They start with lettuce – it’s a gateway drug – then they progress to broccoli and before you know it they are growing the own wheat grass to make juice which they drink in small amounts but the hardcore addicts take it intravenously. You can tell by looking at their clear bright eyes, shiny hair and healthy complexion. They are costing the pharmaceutical companies billions in lost revenue.

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  6. really is stupid police really need to do their job and not fucking around with someone helping people total waste of police time as well as the tax payers money

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