Hipster Couple Arrested After Two Month Old Baby Spotted With Full Sleeve Tattoo

A married couple from Brighton are currently in police custody after several members of the public reported seeing their young baby with a full sleeve tattoo and an ear lobe stretcher. Sussex Police reacted swiftly after they received several different complaints from horrified passers by who noticed the child and his parents in a London…

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Russian Hooligans Begin Training For 2018 Varsity

Over 400 Russian football ultras have already started training in preparation for 2018’s varsity match between Brighton and Sussex Universities. According to reports coming out of Moscow this morning the same hooligans who terrorised English supporters at Euro 16 are planning on making the trip over for next year’s tear up. The hardened thugs read…

Local Bellend Whose Third Cousin is a Quarter Irish Looks Forward to a Weekend of Getting Back To His Roots by Drinking Copious Amounts of Guinness Whilst Wearing a Stupid Hat

A Brighton man is preparing for a weekend on the black stuff after a painstaking week long search on anncestary.com revealed he is more or less full on Irish. John Thompson of London Road, is gearing up for a monumental St Patrick’s Day Weekend. The 34 year old, who had previously told his girlfriend he…

SPRING HEATWAVE: Locals Make Use of Victorian Law Making it Socially Acceptable to Get Off Your Swede Down the Seafront at 11am as Long as The Sun is Shining

Some early Spring sunshine has seen hoards of Brightonians take advantage of an old law which states it is completely acceptable to get sloshed in Brighton’s public spaces at whatever time their heart desires. The law, which dates back to the time of Queen Victoria, means that individuals do not have to feel guilty about…