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Tag Archives: hove

Local Drug Dealer Warns of Price Rises and Job Cuts in The Event of a No Deal Brexit

A prominent Brighton drug dealer has today delivered a stark warning of the implications to his business, and it’s customers, should the UK leave the European Union without a deal on March 29th. The dealer, who asked to remain anonymous, has been supplying Brightonian’s with their narcotic needs for the last 20 years but now…

January 14, 2019 in News, Politics, Uncategorized.

Old School Friend One More Nonsensical Racist Meme Away from Full Social Media Removal

A tense situation is currently underway in Brighton tonight after an ‘old friend from home’ continued his 12 week streak of posting inaccurate, sexist, racist, homophonic or just down right moronic memes on social media. Despite trying his hardest to ignore the drivel, Martin Hicks is now finally thinking of cutting ties with Robbie Blaney,…

May 20, 2018 in News.

Local Short Wearing Nob Head Still Claiming he is Not Cold

  A local wannabe hard man and all round ‘Billy Big Bollocks’, who only wears shorts come rain or shine, insisted yesterday that he still wasn’t cold despite temperatures plunging to a ball shrinking minus seven. Jack Hoy, 46, has worn shorts everyday for as long as he can remember for no other reason than…

February 28, 2018 in News, Weather.

SNOWMAGEDDON!! – CHAOS as Brighton is Blanketed in a millimetre of Snow

With Brighton currently in the grips of a mini ice age, we take a look at your best pictures of today’s winter wonderland.   Do you have a great picture of this morning’s snow? Send them to Brighton.bulletin@outlook.com or post them on our Facebook comments.

February 7, 2018 in Weather.

Man Who Posted Something Mildly Offensive on MySpace 14 Years Ago Set to Be Stoned to Death on Brighton Beach  

Organisers have today revealed that tickets are selling fast for a public stoning scheduled for the 24th of February on Brighton beach, the first event of its kind since 1878. Matthew Cook, was convicted to ‘death by stoning’ earlier this year after a bored co-worker decided to trawl through his social media in search of something…

February 1, 2018 in News.

Brighton Man Celebrates Seven Consecutive Years of Sacking Off Dry January Early

A Brighton man raised a toast to himself today, as he enjoyed his seventh year of giving up on dry January with over half the month still to go. Jamie Duffy, 32, was only 2 days short of his personal best of January 14th, which he achieved back in 2013. He was however laid up…

January 12, 2018 in News.

BREAKING: Cyclist Who Thinks he is Too ‘Big Time’ to Use Seafront Cycle Lane Has Tiny Penis

Breaking news has reached The Brighton Bulletin this morning. It has been confirmed that the cyclist who prefers to weave in and out of traffic rather than use the perfectly adequate bike lane two metres to his left, has an unbelievably small todger. The unnamed rider uses Kings Road for his daily commute to and…

November 9, 2017 in News.

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