Local Bellend Whose Third Cousin is a Quarter Irish Looks Forward to a Weekend of Getting Back To His Roots by Drinking Copious Amounts of Guinness Whilst Wearing a Stupid Hat

A Brighton man is preparing for a weekend on the black stuff after a painstaking week long search on anncestary.com revealed he is more or less full on Irish. John Thompson of London Road, is gearing up for a monumental St Patrick’s Day Weekend. The 34 year old, who had previously told his girlfriend he…

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SPRING HEATWAVE: Locals Make Use of Victorian Law Making it Socially Acceptable to Get Off Your Swede Down the Seafront at 11am as Long as The Sun is Shining

Some early Spring sunshine has seen hoards of Brightonians take advantage of an old law which states it is completely acceptable to get sloshed in Brighton’s public spaces at whatever time their heart desires. The law, which dates back to the time of Queen Victoria, means that individuals do not have to feel guilty about…

Brighton Crowned UK Capital of the ‘Sit Down Piss’

A study published yesterday has revealed that the male population of Brighton and Hove are more partial to a sit down slash than males in every other British city. A whopping 78% of men in Brighton chose to plonk themselves down to siphon the python at least once a week. This is compared to Chelmsford…