When the sun shines Brighton comes into its own and this weekend was no exception. In a groundbreaking research study, The Brighton Bulletin has analysed statistical data to come up with this list of the most common phrases used by you lot out there enjoying the weather.
10 – ‘Sod that, look at the queue’
You fancy an ice cream, you know Morrocco’s does a cracking ice cream, if only every other prick had not had the same idea.
9 – ‘Look at those twats on a stag do’
When’s the suns out you can’t move for forced ‘wacky banter’ in Brighton. If over the course of this weekend you haven’t seen a Bantasauras Rex in a mankini leading a group mates on pusssay patrol you’ve had your eyes closed.
8. ‘I can smell weed’
Brightonians love nothing better than a bun in the sun. Statistically, when on Brighton seafront, you are never more than two metres away from someone chuffing on the devil’s lettuce.
7 – ‘I’m definitely not drinking next weekend’
Ah this old chestnut. Often heard amidst the pangs of self loathing as Sunday evening begins to draw in. Often disregarded by Thursday.
6 – ‘Look there’s a space….Ah no its disabled’
Who needs the beach and beer gardens when you can spend three hours in a scorching car looking for a parking space. You could always get the trai…..nah ill stick with the hot car.
5 – ‘Stop checking her out you pervert’
Many of Brighton’s finest specimens go into hibernation during the harsh winter months, emerging wearing next to nothing as summer begins. On a hot sunny day Brighton becomes a perverts paradise. Avoid arguments by investing in sunglasses.
4 – ‘Bollocks, I need a piss again’
Maybe it has something to do with the 10 cans of San Miguel, but why is it that on a warm day, you are constantly in desperate need of a slash. There is nothing quite like the smell of a public toilet that has been cooking in the sun. That stench tends to stay with you after you 12th visit.
3 – ‘Where are you mate? Nah still cant see you. In front of which bar? There are loads of bars’
Forget climbing Everest, swimming the channel or running a marathon. If you can find your friends on Brighton beach without wasting an hour wandering around aimlessly you will have achieved a feet of human endeavor equivalent to no other.
2 – ‘Fuck me it’s hot’
So you have seen the weather on the telly, you have watched your mates sunny Snapchats and you have been checking the temperature on your phone every 10 minutes, YOU KNOW IT’S HOT. So why when you walk out the door can you not stop banging on about how pissing hot it is. As temperatures reach their peak ‘Fuck me it’s hot’ migrates to ‘This is too hot’.
1 – ‘I feel like I’m on my holidays’
Sitting in a seafront restaurant after a tough day on the beach it doesn’t take long for this old classic to come out. You order some sangria and moules and frites just to make it more continental. No matter how long you have lived in Brighton as soon as the sun is out you cant help feeling you are on your holidays.