A 19 year old from Brighton was arrested last night after being caught green fingered selling salad to what the police described as ‘desperate individuals’ on a street corner in Hove.
Paul Hayes, of London Road, was detained at 11.30pm after an anonymous tip off from the general public led the police to Grand Avenue where they discovered Mr Hayes ‘serving up’ to a large queue of vegans and health conscious Hove mums. A subsequent search of the suspect’s car revealed courgettes, aubergines and traces of broccoli.
Brighton’s large vegan population combined with the recent shortage of salad as a result of poor weather on the continent, has driven individuals to seek alternatives ways of getting their vegetable fix. Sgt Mike Wilcox of Sussex Police said, ‘This is becoming a big problem now. We believe a large amount of salad has been smuggled into the country from South America. The problem is that this stuff is not normal salad it is super strength stuff that has been grown specifically to get vunerable salad lovers hooked. We advise anyone who is offered any sort of veg to decline and to contact Sussex Police immediately’.
A Brighton resident who asked not to be named said she had noticed a worrying trend since the shortage, ‘Only the other day I was walking through The Level and I spotted four separate groups of youngsters all taking turns on an iceberg. It’s disgusting, kids use that park. Something needs to be done, Only yesterday I saw one woman absolutely off her mash on courgette and it was only 2pm’ she said.
Mr Hayes has now been formally charged and will face magistrates at Lewes Crown Court in March.
The Brighton Bulletin 
Reblogged this on Rae Likes Froot and commented:
And this is why I want to move to Brighton ❤
LikeLike
Is this a joke?
LikeLike
I hope not
LikeLike
No one would joke about such a serious subject
LikeLike
This is crap – this is rubbish, this is a waste of ink and certainly not an April fools Joke as it aint April but this has got to be a joke as if otherwise, then we now know how dumb and stupid the law is and how the piolice waste their time and let real criminals get away with it ( the bankers ) and how innocent people are targeted for nothing at all. The poicture is also a stock picture of a drug dealer and not someone selling lettuce. Of all the craoppy reporting I have ever heard this is close to the most dumb.
LikeLike
John – This is a joke. No Ink was wasted.
Some of the lines that prove it is a joke are:
“this stuff is not normal salad it is super strength stuff that has been grown specifically to get venerable salad lovers hooked.”
“I was walking through The Level and I spotted four separate groups of youngsters all taking turns on an iceberg.”
“Only yesterday I saw one woman absolutely off her mash on courgette”
LikeLike
A friend of mine got 12 years because he sold a carrot
LikeLiked by 1 person
Stock image of black guy dealing. 🤔
LikeLiked by 1 person
Does it ACTUALLY matter what the colour of his skin is?
Black and white, there are dealers among both colours.
LikeLiked by 3 people
he has to whine about something – even when this is all in jest – must be a lot of fun at a party
LikeLike
In all my years in Africa , I only met one black person who was a vegetarian . Black people love nyama, meat in Swahili and Zulu . I very much doubt you would find a black person peddling veggies except in the township market.
LikeLike
yeah you should see the whites back street
steaming broccoli in eastbourne that might make you open your eyes a little the police are armed with strainers over there!!!
LikeLike
why do you say the black guy is dealing ? maybe he is paying anf the other is the dealer… all mindset.
LikeLike
There are 2 people in the picture – 1 white, 1 black. There is no way of telling who is the dealing and who is selling. It is your assumption the the black guy is the dealer which says a lot about you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reel them in, you had severa nibbles.
LikeLike
Who gives a toss! We must stop this now. It is obscene that this can be done in my home town! Stop these vegan dealers
LikeLike
And white guy using!!!
LikeLike
I don’t see black, just a stock image.
LikeLike
Ever seen any polish/chinese/french/portuguese/canadian/bangladeshi guys etc dealing drugs on a brighton/london street lately? No. I thought not. Neither have i so get real.
LikeLike
I really don’t like your placement of Canadian vegetable pushers, stuck right in there between /portugese and /bangadeshi Is this some sort of statement against Canadians?? Are you trying to start something?
LikeLike
Stock image of white guy buying
LikeLike
One is black, the other is white. Stop trying to make a deal out of nothing.
LikeLike
Sounds like it’s just the tip of the Iceberg…
LikeLiked by 5 people
You see what you look for. Had to take another look to spot dark skinned hand. Stock image of ‘hoodies’?
LikeLike
See my reply above to shame.
LikeLike
Love this. It’s a little gem.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes, they both deserve a rocket!
LikeLiked by 1 person
At last, justice has been served. How did he expect to get away with it without having a (framed) food handling certificate on display? Lock him up!
LikeLike
Reblogged this on sarahrsutherland.
LikeLike
Reblogged this on Ajb2k3's Weblog.
LikeLike
I saw two lettuces in Sainsburys yesterday Both grown in spain.
LikeLike
I drove through there yesterday and saw them making pipes out of carrots and smoking sage through them.
Some where even going as far as opening up tea bags for a stronger hit. PG Tips I think.
LikeLike
Brilliant, so funny🥗🌽🥕🍅
LikeLike
All I can say about these poor souls is “Lettuce Pray”. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
It dosnt matter wat ethnic u r. U do the crime. U do the time
LikeLike
This could very quickly rocket out of control.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Had to read this article KOS it was so shocking !
LikeLike
Some really corn e puns there
LikeLike
This has to be a joke. Whatever crime could he possobly be charged with. “making a shilling”? Hence counterfieting!
Having re-read it I am sure it is a joke. As such it ain’t bad.
LikeLike
I thought I’d spotted someone peddling tomatoes the other day but still haven’t caught him red handed.
LikeLike
Wherever there are leaf-seeking vegans there will always be destroyed young lives.
LikeLike
There are some evil people in this world. Always taking advantage of somebody else’s misery. Feeling so blessed not to be a vegan.
LikeLike
You mean it courgette out of control? It’s enough tomato sick…!
LikeLike
But you wouldn’t be before magistrates in a Crown Court. Bullshit.
LikeLike
They probably do the hard stuff (carrots, parsnips) in Brighton but this is “Hove Actually” and more refined
LikeLike
They start with lettuce – it’s a gateway drug – then they progress to broccoli and before you know it they are growing the own wheat grass to make juice which they drink in small amounts but the hardcore addicts take it intravenously. You can tell by looking at their clear bright eyes, shiny hair and healthy complexion. They are costing the pharmaceutical companies billions in lost revenue.
LikeLiked by 1 person
there is a market for this these days…
LikeLike
it not a joke it alternative facts
LikeLike
Pingback: Is HPANWO A Spoof? – ⛧ 11100010 10011011 10100111
really is stupid police really need to do their job and not fucking around with someone helping people total waste of police time as well as the tax payers money
LikeLike