Local Man Who Claims Not to Get Hangovers Wins Top Prize at ‘The Smug Pr*ck of The Year Awards’

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A Brighton man was celebrating yesterday after winning the top gong at the’Smug Prick of The Year Awards’ in a glitzy London awards ceremony.

Chris Howard, 32, of Stephens Rd, Hollingdean is now officially the UK’s smuggest little prick after spending the last five years banging on to his mates about how, regardless of the amount he drinks, he has never even had a sniff of a hangover.

Mr Howard, who was nominated for the award by his long suffering friends, was delighted with his new title, ‘I’m really pleased’ He said. ‘It’s nice to finally have some recognition. I have been telling anyone who would listen about how I don’t get hangovers for years now and generally they don’t give me the praise I deserve especially when I tell them after a heavy night. There was this one time I went out with my flat mate on an all dayer, sweet Jesus, we must have done about 20 pints each. The next day he was puking all over the show, I was fine though so I just invited my band round for practice. My flat mate went crazy and tried to punch my lights out. I don’t know what his problem is, it’s not my fault I don’t get hangovers. So yea it is definitely nice to receive the acknowledgement I deserve’ he said smugly.

Other local winners on the evening were a woman from Preston Park who claims she eats whatever the f*ck she wants and doesn’t put on weight, A Hove couple whose baby has never woken up in the night, A former southern rail commuter whose company re-located to Brighton a year back whilst Nigel Farage picked up the lifetime achievement award.

 

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