Hove Office Worker Arrested for Assaulting Colleague of 15 Years After Discovering he has Been Putting the Milk in First the Whole Time

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A Hove man is facing jail time as a result of a ‘viscous attack’ on a long time work mate after he caught him putting the milk in his mug before the teabag and then subsequently admitting he had been using the same backward technique for over a decade.

Gordon Walker, 49, of Old Shoreham Road appeared before magistrates at Lewes Crown Court yesterday. The court heard how the victim of the attack, who is now in witness protection for fear of further attacks, has been making Mr Walker his morning brew every day for the last 15 years at the accountancy firm where they both worked. On this particular day though Mr Walker decided to take a call on his mobile and walk around the office so he looked like ‘Billy big bollocks’, it is then when he noticed his victim putting the milk and sugar in his mug before so much as even looking at the tea bag.

The following statement written by the victim from his hospital bed was read out to the court and reveals what took place next: ‘Gordon confronted me and, in his own words, asked me what the shitting hell I was doing. I told him I was making him a tea and he asked me why I had already put the milk in, I told him that’s how I have always done it, that’s when he snapped. I have never seen him like that before, he was bat shit crazy. He lumped me round the head until I hit the deck and then started booting me right in the guts and that’s all I can remember’. Security guards eventually stopped the attack describing to the court how they pulled My Walker off his victim as he was attempting to gouge his eyes out.

The Judge said yesterday how although he was ‘sympathetic to the situation he found himself in’ and how ‘the actions of the tea maker should not be excused’, Mr Walker should be prepared for a prison stretch when he is sentenced tomorrow.

Police have today issued a warning to other backward tea makers to be discrete about their actions or to alter their habits and start making tea properly.

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