Brighton’s i360 is facing yet more problems today as over 70 passengers demanded their money back after they were forced to endure 20 minutes in the enclosed pod with a man with severe and nauseating ‘wind breaking’ tendencies.
In a week which has seen the newly opened ride get stuck in the air and subsequently stay closed for two days this new incident could not have come at a worse time for the problem hit attraction. Passengers confronted staff and refused to leave the site until they were given compensation after their trip was ruined by a mans constant dropping of his guts. Order was only restored after the disgruntled passengers were offered a voucher for another ride and a free drink.
Louise Sunsil had traveled with her husband and two kids from Eastbourne as a treat for her birthday. She describes how the celebration, and the air, quickly turned sour, ‘All was going fine, we boarded the pod and we were all really excited but about a minute in I noticed a horrible smell. To be honest I thought it was my husband but he protested his innocence, he thought it was funny at first but he soon changed his tune as it got worse. By about halfway up it was unbearable, I was constantly gagging, the kids were crying, my hubbies eyes were watering, one woman was physically sick on the floor. It was obvious who it was coming from there was this one guy who was smirking away to himself and no one would go near him. We were all packed over one side with our hands over our noses and he was on the other just letting rip at will. We begged the staff to take us back down but they said they couldn’t, to be fair they were struggling just as much us. I have honestly never smelt anything like it, you could almost see it as it was so thick, I can still taste it at the back of my throat now’ she said.
The Bulletin managed to track down man who subjected the passengers to the misery. The man from Croydon who asked not to named provided us the following statement – ‘I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to all the passengers who had to put up with my arse blasts, I will admit they were some real crowd splitters, definitely the strongest I can ever remember doing. Me and my mates had been for a curry and then down to Brewdog for a skin full. F*** me that craft ale doesn’t half play havoc with your guts. The next day they were all in bed being hungover but I didn’t want to waste the day so I though feck it lets give that new tall thing a go. As soon as I stepped on I knew I had made a mistake, I tried to hold it in but it was no good. I was quite proud of the first couple but when people started to notice I did feel a bit bad especially when the woman was sick but by that point I was too far gone and I just couldn’t stop them. When it finally came back down I thought I was going to be lynched so I got out of there sharpish and pegged it back to my hotel. I’m gutted I missed out on the free ride and drink to be fair.’
Staff on the i360 spent an hour going around the attraction with Glade air fresheners and it is now back open to the public.
The Brighton Bulletin 
Reblogged this on AngieTrafford and commented:
In this case it probably would have been better in than out!
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The beauty of satirical writing is that it is lost on so many. #GreatBritishHumour
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was going to say “what a lot of old arseholes” but will restrain myself..
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was going to say “hat a load of old arseholes” but will refrain from it.
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He certainly blasted his way to the top!
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That’s wrong on so many levels!
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That was literally breaking news 😜
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Kids crying over that,what have we become?
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Ummmm, creatures with a sense of smell?
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and a sense of humour, we hope
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Is this true? ! Mm
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lol funny as f**k!!!
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Great advert for Glade, do I spot some ‘Product Positioning’ here?
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As the BBC say, other brands of air freshener are available ;p
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Wunderground lite.
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I though Trump towers were in America.!!!
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Ewwww someone pooped on the flying cock ring!
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Somebody chuffed on the flying cock ring!
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I cried reading this. And then posted it to my nephew’s Facebook page. He has the same problem with flatulence. In fact I was astonished it wasn’t him.
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I cried reading this. And then posted it to my nephew’s Facebook page. He has the same problem with flatulence. In fact I was astonished it wasn’t him. Satirical brilliance.
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A good ar$e speaks for itself
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Reblogged this on Richard McMellon and commented:
I was crying reading this
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This certainly trumps pharting in lifts ( elevators ). Most aircons recirculate the air for reasons of economy. There must of been a swirling brown cloud in there – ArseSum!
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Can’t think of anything that horrible, personally
Im amazed too, that this utter waste of our Council Budget ( for years to come )
eyesore, would appear NOT to have an effective fresh air source /
or state of the art AIR CONDITIONING ??? Should be Public Health Warnings
at point of Sale 😡😡😷😷👹👺💩
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You do know that this is a joke article, don’t you Susan?
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Ah, amateur satire – ruining Brighton’s tourist trade at one go. I’ll bet at least two 13 year old boys found it funny. Bring back Jonathan Pie, all is forgiven.
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I’m 43 and I had a mild guffaw.
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hahaha funny but horrible… don’t eat curry a day before going to BA i360, omg!… or have a light snacks only & don’t take a heavy meal before going there!…
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My friend told me about this, so I sought a description.
Outstanding commentary on the event, capturing the horror with barely contained glee and a superb eye for the details.
Beautifully written.
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