‘COKED UP’ SEAGULLS KEEP HANOVER STREET AWAKE FOR 3 DAYS SOLID

A group of 6 charged up seagulls who stumbled across a discarded bag of cocaine and subsequently ate it, have kept residents of a Brighton street up with 72 hours of constant squawking.

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Linda Bennett of Whichelo Place was returning home from a trip to the shops on Sunday evening when she first noticed the commotion. ‘I was just coming up to my house when I noticed a group of seagulls all going mad so I walked over to see what was going on and that is when I saw what they were up to, they were all fighting over a little bag of white powder! I was pretty surprised how mad they were going but walked back home to get on with my Sunday’ She said.

Unfortunately that was just the start of it as within half an hour the havoc started to unravel as Kevin Booker, who live two doors down from Linda, describes ‘I heard a lot of squawking outside so I popped my head out the door and I couldn’t believe it. There was bird crap everywhere all the cars were covered. I wanted to try and stop it but didn’t want to get shat on myself, it was relentless.’

The next 70 hours saw the situation worsen as the seagulls paired off in two’s and continued to squawk nonsense to each other for the next three nights. The repetitive squawking caused police to receive more than 30 calls from disgruntled residents who couldn’t sleep, however when the authorities attended the seagulls would just fly off. There have also been unconfirmed reports the same group of Seagulls stole 20 Superking Menthols from a local convenience store two nights running.

The situation finally came to a head on Tuesday morning when a resident who didn’t want to be named came up with a solution. ‘Most of the seagulls had gone their separate ways by this point. All but one had waddled off in the grips of self-loathing but there was this one bastard seagull who just wouldn’t shift, he was still squawking nonsense to himself. I remembered I had a bit of weed left over from The Thai Food Festival so I fed it to him and he was out like a light and by the next morning he was gone! I wish I had of thought of it earlier’ He said.

No arrests have been made but the police have received reports of sighting of the gulls enjoying a discarded fry up off the floor outside Buddies.

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6 thoughts on “‘COKED UP’ SEAGULLS KEEP HANOVER STREET AWAKE FOR 3 DAYS SOLID

  1. There are some attentiongrabbing points in time in this article but I dont know if I see all of them heart to heart. There may be some validity however I will take maintain opinion until I look into it further. Good article , thanks and we would like extra! Added to FeedBurner as properly addaegfbeekecdcg

    Like

  2. Pingback: ANIMAL NEWS – LONG LIVE THE ANIMALS

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